Wicked Kitten of the West

I never had pets growing up. Except fish, but they don't count. I thought that people that treated pets like family were insane. After all, they're just animals. But a little over two years ago I got my first baby, Krieger; a year and some ago I got my second baby, Marceline. Then I understood. They're my babies. I can't help but love the heck outta their fluffy selves. Then it became a thing where I not only loved MY kittens; I love most kittens now. Who have I become?! But I digress. Because really, whether I loved cats or not, I would still love this thing: 

Indeed, it's a kitten candle that melts down to expose it's skeleton. It is so cool. Obviously you would have to keep it in some kind of dish or jar, but seriously, I want a little kitty skeleton and this seems like the easiest and least offensive way to acquire one. Interested? Get it here:

http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/kisa-cat-candle

Marcie and Krieger approved. 

Whale, whale, whale.

In New England, we're big fans of ocean decor. It's rare that you find a bathroom in Rhode Island that isn't beach themed. Mine isn't. But it's more the exception than the rule. It's not to say I'm against beach or nautical decor. I just feel like it's played out for powder rooms. If I ever have a kid though, I may have to do an ocean theme just so I can have this:

It's a ceramic whale table lamp. Imagine reading to your precious kid by the light of a round little whale? Maybe the Children's Classics version of Moby Dick? Or maybe not if you think he'd be sensitive to someone trying to kill his little lamp pal... But in any case, want one? Get it here:

http://m.rakuten.com/product/269266257?listingid=369376487&adid=29963&sclid=pla_google_Wayfair

Magic. Pure Magic.

I'm pretty sure there is no 20-something lady that doesn't love unicorns. Or Rainicorns or Monochromicorns. Whatever. Personally, I love unicorns and I think it would be hilarious to be one. 

Onesie jammies with a unicorn head. I love it so much. I mean, they're expensive for pajamas but I feel like they're worth it for everyone to see just how magical I really am. Want some? Get 'em here! 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00FDIQX8C/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?qid=1424142190&sr=8-6&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=Sazac&dpPl=1&dpID=41HCh0ZVyrL&ref=plSrch#

Cooking With Your Bear Hands

When you make bread, you have to preheat your pot before you drop your dough in. The lid and everything. Once, I had been making bread, dropped the dough in my Wolfgang Puck, and when I went to go put the lid on, I went space cadet and grabbed it. Bare handed. It was awful. Giant blisters on my hand for weeks. I wish I had grabbed it with...

Bear Hands instead. 

Aww yiss. The awesomest oven mitts I have ever seen look like giant bear paws. They're glorious, aren't they?!

If standard oven mitts are just too boring for you, spice up your life with these. They're just so cool, and you'll keep your paws safe when grabbing your goodies out of the oven. If you want some, get them here:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00I0VULXC/ref=mp_s_a_1_58?qid=1424398643&sr=8-58&pi=AC_SX200_QL40&keywords=Novelty&dpPl=1&dpID=41EQlmThj4L&ref=plSrch#

Ask Me Why I'm Lazy

Aww yiss. A long time ago I saw a shirt that said "ask me about my dinosaur" and the inside has a dino printed in it. It made me laugh pretty hard because I am sure all 20-something love dinosaurs and a chance to flash people. But I found a new style that really spoke to me. 

Ask me why I'm lazy and I'll show you my sloth. I think sloths are my spirit animal. Or koalas because they sleep 18 hours a day. But either way, I love this shirt immensely. If you want one for yourself, get it here:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00DTIOD7G/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?qid=1424017686&sr=8-4&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=Lazy&dpPl=1&dpID=418dS96nQVL&ref=plSrch#

Good Times For Terrible People

Good times indeed. When you were a kid, did you ever play Apples to Apples? Did you ever grow up with a dark and terrible sense of humor? How about playing Apples to Apples with your dark and terrible sense of humor tied in? Then this is the game for you.

Cards Against Humanity. You've probably heard of it. Most people have by now. But in case you forgot before you bought it (or downloaded it for free and spent a ton on ink for printing it...) here it is! It's hilarious. Even if you have never heard of Apples to Apples, if you are basically a jerk, you will love it. I know I do. Get it here:

http://www.cardsagainsthumanity.com

Paranoid and prepared part 2

Ladies: never say I sent you away unprepared! I've already stressed how paranoid I am and how I like to be prepared for any event. Well, I do live in a pretty suburban area and I go into the city a lot. So needing an actual survival kit isn't a likelihood in my life. But today's item is actually an app. 

What is it? It's called SafeTrek. You put in your basic info, you create a password, and when you feel unsafe you hold down the button. When you feel safe again you let go of the button and put in your passcode. If you don't enter your passcode within ten seconds, it automatically calls the police and notifies them of your location. 

It's only $1.99. For peace of mind I think that's pretty stinkin reasonable. I know normally I do fun items and pretty things but I feel like this is a thing that needs to be promoted. People have a right to feel safe but we are not always afforded that luxury. Until then, maybe this can help keep you a little safer! Download it at the App Store!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/safetrek/id716262008?mt=8

Or here:

http://www.safetrekapp.com

Things that look like garbage, but aren't

I have a small obsession with things that look disposable but aren't. One of my earliest posts was about "Not A Paper Cup," which looks like a standard paper coffee cup with a plastic kid but is actually porcelain. I actually purchased it and I loved it for a long time until it got the tiniest chip on the rim, which prevented the silicone lid from sealing it and I would slop tea all over myself. But I'm getting slightly off track. I have a new thing that looks disposable but isn't: 

Brown bagged lunch! Oh, it looks like a brown paper lunch bag, but it's not! It is, in fact, an insulated lunchbox! I'm not sure why I love this concept so much. I'm all about reusing stuff (ask my husband how many Chinese take-out soup containers I had before he staged an intervention); I prefer my glass Pyrex containers with lids over gladware or any of that other BPA-filled plastic junk. But there's something so homey to me about the idea of lunch in a brown paper bag. If you, too, want to throw it back to third grade, back when pb&j was acceptable in public schools, get yours here!

http://www.modcloth.com/shop/kitchen-dining/pack-to-basics-lunch-bag

Paranoid and Prepared

So if you're anything like me, you're always sure at any moment something awful is going to happen. Maybe you're mentally prepped for what you would do if you came across a nasty car accident and had to spring into action and save the day. Or maybe you're convinced that someday you'll accidentally end up in the woods alone and you need to survive. I'm not gonna judge. I have generalized anxiety disorder, so I have a lot of weird thoughts like that. But in any case. If you've ever felt like you needed to be prepared for randomly getting lost in the wilderness maybe you'll appreciate this: 

Survival kit in an altoid tin. Alcohol pads, a howler whistle, safety pins, compass. It's got all kinds of good stuff. You can use the inside of the tin to signal your rescuers. I love it. If you're paranoid and like to be prepared like me, get yours here: https://www.etsy.com/listing/197089854/altoid-tin-mini-survival-kit-with-wire?source=aw&utm_source=affiliate_window&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=us_location_buyer&utm_content=141392

Capybaras and plants

I have this horrific inability to keep plants alive. I have killed orchids, which are finicky anyway, spider plants, cacti, air plants. Once I even managed to melt a plastic plant. But for some reason, I had the grand idea to germinate an avocado stone after I made guacamole and its almost 10 inches tall and a year old! It's giving me hope that maybe, just maybe, I can keep a plant alive long enough to bother with a cute planter. Succulents are easy, right?

Well this guy is the cutest succulent planter in the world. It's my favorite animal, the capybara. Since Jon and I have been married, we watch a lot of nature shows. We've learned about many animals. His favorite animal is the pangolin (it's like a real life Pokémon, they're so cool), and mine is an actual ROUS. They get to be about the size of a medium-large dog. It's the largest rodent in the world and since the part of New England I'm in has laws regarding exotic animal ownership, I might have to settle for getting this one and hope I can keep something alive in him. 

Get your own here!

https://www.etsy.com/listing/179565874/cute-concrete-capybara-planter-vase-for

A little bit of ukulele

Whaaaaaat? So I found this blog that I started like 6 years ago. It seems the last few posts I was making mention of my upcoming wedding. Well my sixth anniversary is in a couple of weeks! Weird how I had no memory of it until I was invited to post on Sew Sweet Shop's blog. But I guess that's neither here nor there. Wanna see what I got for an early anniversary present? 

Beautiful ain't she? A few months back I was binge-watching the last season of How I met your mother and the episode when Ted hears Tracy playing "La Vie En Rose" made me decide I needed a ukulele post haste. Not for "La Vie En Rose", mind you. But I needed one nonetheless. I researched, I youtubed, I asked a lot of questions. I wanted a pineapple body for aesthetic reasons, and I also heard that they tend to have a fuller sound. Wading through all the ukuleles I could find, I decided upon this beauty. The artwork actually had no bearing on my choice but it is a pretty sweet perk. I've been practicing almost every night, and hopefully I'll be pretty good soon. 

Where to get my little ukulele

Be sultry, not skanky.

So I'm not gonna lie today. In the past year I've pack on quite a few pounds. I may or may not have shared this information before. I went from 110 pounds to about 125, give or take depending on what I ate the day before. So this past beach season I was less than enthused about prancing around the beach in an itty bitty bikini. I'm not fat by any means, but I just picture myself being "that girl", you know, the one who's wearing a too-small bikini that makes you think, "What the hell was she thinking? Why do her friends let her out of the house that way?" So I went a different direction. Behold!

Pinup Girl's very own design vintage Marilyn swimsuit. A modest one-piece that's still a little sexy. This style comes in black, leopard, pink, and red. I myself rocked the black one. You can get it for about $72 before shipping at the link in the title. It's so worth it, trust me. And before I sign off, I'd like to take a second to mention this model, Violet Valentine who is lovely. The actual spokesperson for pinupgirlclothing.com is Masuimi Max. Check out the website!

And for the first time in my life, I don't want water rings on my coffee table.

Since when do I care whether or not someone puts their glass down on my coffee table? I never have. But now that I'm going to have a place of my own, I'm all, "Wipe your feet! Take off your shoes! AAAH USE A COASTER!!!!" But cork coasters? Boring. Boring boring boring. For our dining room I bought stone coasters. They're varnished granite technically. I found them on ebay for 10 bucks after I saw some just like them at Crate & Barrel for $30. But now, I need coasters for my living room. I found these!

Dare I drop $50 at the link available in the title on coasters? I sidestepped that trap once, but what if I can't find these on ebay!? Usually I don't like multicolored things of that nature. However I am rather affected by nostalgia these days. When I was little I remember my Gramma had split-open geodes in her parlor. One of them was purple, one of them was a funky yellow. They bring back some old memories. I want some geode samples in my living room too...

Be vegan!

Ok, I'm not really vegan. I don't eat much meat but it's not really a concious decision. Because when I do eat meat, I highly enjoy it. No offense to you veggie heads out there, you make your choices, I make mine. Respect and all that. But here is something that can appeal to us, veggie head and meatavores alike! Because though I do willingly eat dead animal, I would never kill one for sport and mount it's head on my wall. That's horrible, and quite disturbing frankly. And oddly enough I once took an aptitude test and it said my ideal profession would be a taxidermist. Um, ew. No. So for any of those who find taxidermy highly disturbing but would like some sort of animal on your wall:

A wall-mounted unicorn! For about $80 (click the title, you'll see) you can get a unicorn, a buck, or a bunny! If you don't wanna go that steep, for about $40 you can't get a wall-mounted mouse. Personally, I had a hard time deciding between the unicorn and the buck. I would have to decide beforehand which room I would put it in. I would put the unicorn in my dining room, while I would put the buck in my living room. Not that I'm really going to drop $80 on a wall-mounted plushie, but I WOULD if I had money to spare! Seriously, I would! After I got the homicidal knife set, inside out martini glasses, and some of the other crazy things I've posted earlier....

This might make me go camping!

And for me to go camping there has to be something seriously awesome in it for me. I'm just not into the don't-shower-for-a-week-and-fend-off-killer-bears thing. Altho sleeping bags would be great fun if you were to share.... BUT that's besides the point! The point is, this sleeping bag is awesome:

For those of us who thrash and twist and roll in our sleep, sleeping bags tend to be a problem. You get all stuck in them and are unable to escape your cocoon in the morning! For about $180 I believe, (it's approximately 90 British pounds. That symbol isn't euro, so that's what I'm gonna say) you can get a sleeping bag thats shaped like a body. Free legs, free arms. The arms you can have your hands exposed OR you can make them like a baby shirt and having bunting hands. Hehe how I love them. Want one? Click the title for a direct ordering link. Personally I would wear it with a mask and run around scaring little kids, because I'm sadistic like that.

::drools until she drowns in her puddle::

Today is a painful day. I found the shoes I want for my wedding.
They are Manolo Blahniks. I found them on ebay (click the title if you really wanna shatter my dreams and buy them for yourself. or if you want to buy them for me. For real, I would invite you to my wedding if you did.) Why is it a painful day to find THE shoes you want for your special prance down the aisle? They're ::swallows hard:: $320 before shipping. ::Cries tears:: Let me tell you something. I try my hardest not to be materialistic. I like things, and I want things, but if I don't have things I'm perfectly content. Stuff is not what our lives are all about. But I am a shoe snob. I'll wear thrift store clothes every day of my life, but my shoes need to be some sort of recongnizable brand. Vans, Converse, Steve Madden, Chinese Laundry are a few of my favorites. I don't know what it is. And mostly Jon is fine with this, what with his mild foot fetish and all. But if I had these shoes for my wedding day, I would HAPPILY wear a dress made of pillowcases sewn together. HAPPILY!!! Today I think a little piece of me is dying. Unless they get relisted at a lower price... in which case this dying piece of rotting flesh will spring back to it's youthful, nubile state.

I sometimes feel domestic.

And so the item of the day is really fantastic. I'm annoyed that I can't find it online with all the pasta attachments because hey, fresh pasta kicks boxed pastas butt. I know. I used to run a fresh pasta retail/wholesale shop. It was awesome. I'd eat pasta every day for lunch and because I was running around like a crazy person all the time I stayed WICKED skinny! Working there I was the skinniest I had been since before I was a teenager. Eek. At 13 I weighed 130, by 17/18 I was 110. Man I miss those days. Here I am just about 20 back up to 125. Jonathan says he likes me better than when I was skinny when we first met. Thanks love.... I prefer not being heavier thanks. Anyway, things that I want that can make pasta among other amazing things.

::Angels sing:: The Kitchenaid Mixer! Available just about everywhere for between $200 and $600 depending on the model you get! The one I registered for is the $300 model, but if I can find it at maybe Bed Bath and Beyond with the pasta attachments I'll snatch it off my Target Registry in a split second man.... Oh, if you want a direct link, click on the title of the post. ;) Not to my registry... just to the mixer at Target. Silly people, I'd never give you my registry info, you might be able to find my address and send me killing things in the mail :(

Let's celebrate!

Today I spoke to a woman from a country club not far away and they have the dates that we're looking at open and I made an appointment to go check it out next week! If we like it we're going to book it on the spot because, let's face it, trying to find a venue for 230 people 6 months out is hell. So we're celebrating! A toast! Not with champagne, I don't like champagne. Let's toast with MARTINIS! In these things!
The inside out martini glass! Super cool, very classy, interesting and pretty unique, even though you can get them for almost any sort of happiness drink. Available from Charles and Marie for $55 each (steep, but if you reeeally wanna splurge, totally worth it) here: http://tinyurl.com/49rstg You could be the coolest kid at the party with the inside out martini glass. Although I'm not so sure that rule applies to your shirt.

Tricksy things they is.

Some boys just don't appreciate the pain we put ourselves through for them. Between having sex for the first time, the Brazilian bikini waxes, and ::wince:: giving birth, we go through a lot for guys! I've been reminded by that today by my own penchant for below-the-belt waxing. (TMI, I know but it was a necessary bit of information!) And so the item of the day is for those of us who wax/shave/other those regions but sometimes feel like just having a little something! These embroidered undies are now sold, but when I had intended on posting them on Monday they were still available. If you think they are as bloody hilarious as I do and want a pair for yourself, you can possibly contact the seller and see if she's willing to make you up another pair! You can make your way to her contact page from here: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=13157900 Seriously though, how are undies with pubic hair embroidered on them not hysterical? SERIOUSLY?!

Yesterday blogspot hated me.

For real. Yesterday I couldn't post a picture without having to restart my computer. It was massively annoying. The item for today is something you cannot have. Because it is a one-of-a-kind. And it's mine. From the 1940's I believe. It's platinum. And diamonds!

I finally have my engagement ring to wear! And keep! Oh how I love it. Okay sure you can't see it so well in this picture but it was taken with a cell phone! Once I find my docking cable or whatever it's called I will take a nice close-up shot of it and let you see it. Yay!