Be sultry, not skanky.

So I'm not gonna lie today. In the past year I've pack on quite a few pounds. I may or may not have shared this information before. I went from 110 pounds to about 125, give or take depending on what I ate the day before. So this past beach season I was less than enthused about prancing around the beach in an itty bitty bikini. I'm not fat by any means, but I just picture myself being "that girl", you know, the one who's wearing a too-small bikini that makes you think, "What the hell was she thinking? Why do her friends let her out of the house that way?" So I went a different direction. Behold!

Pinup Girl's very own design vintage Marilyn swimsuit. A modest one-piece that's still a little sexy. This style comes in black, leopard, pink, and red. I myself rocked the black one. You can get it for about $72 before shipping at the link in the title. It's so worth it, trust me. And before I sign off, I'd like to take a second to mention this model, Violet Valentine who is lovely. The actual spokesperson for pinupgirlclothing.com is Masuimi Max. Check out the website!

And for the first time in my life, I don't want water rings on my coffee table.

Since when do I care whether or not someone puts their glass down on my coffee table? I never have. But now that I'm going to have a place of my own, I'm all, "Wipe your feet! Take off your shoes! AAAH USE A COASTER!!!!" But cork coasters? Boring. Boring boring boring. For our dining room I bought stone coasters. They're varnished granite technically. I found them on ebay for 10 bucks after I saw some just like them at Crate & Barrel for $30. But now, I need coasters for my living room. I found these!

Dare I drop $50 at the link available in the title on coasters? I sidestepped that trap once, but what if I can't find these on ebay!? Usually I don't like multicolored things of that nature. However I am rather affected by nostalgia these days. When I was little I remember my Gramma had split-open geodes in her parlor. One of them was purple, one of them was a funky yellow. They bring back some old memories. I want some geode samples in my living room too...

Be vegan!

Ok, I'm not really vegan. I don't eat much meat but it's not really a concious decision. Because when I do eat meat, I highly enjoy it. No offense to you veggie heads out there, you make your choices, I make mine. Respect and all that. But here is something that can appeal to us, veggie head and meatavores alike! Because though I do willingly eat dead animal, I would never kill one for sport and mount it's head on my wall. That's horrible, and quite disturbing frankly. And oddly enough I once took an aptitude test and it said my ideal profession would be a taxidermist. Um, ew. No. So for any of those who find taxidermy highly disturbing but would like some sort of animal on your wall:

A wall-mounted unicorn! For about $80 (click the title, you'll see) you can get a unicorn, a buck, or a bunny! If you don't wanna go that steep, for about $40 you can't get a wall-mounted mouse. Personally, I had a hard time deciding between the unicorn and the buck. I would have to decide beforehand which room I would put it in. I would put the unicorn in my dining room, while I would put the buck in my living room. Not that I'm really going to drop $80 on a wall-mounted plushie, but I WOULD if I had money to spare! Seriously, I would! After I got the homicidal knife set, inside out martini glasses, and some of the other crazy things I've posted earlier....

This might make me go camping!

And for me to go camping there has to be something seriously awesome in it for me. I'm just not into the don't-shower-for-a-week-and-fend-off-killer-bears thing. Altho sleeping bags would be great fun if you were to share.... BUT that's besides the point! The point is, this sleeping bag is awesome:

For those of us who thrash and twist and roll in our sleep, sleeping bags tend to be a problem. You get all stuck in them and are unable to escape your cocoon in the morning! For about $180 I believe, (it's approximately 90 British pounds. That symbol isn't euro, so that's what I'm gonna say) you can get a sleeping bag thats shaped like a body. Free legs, free arms. The arms you can have your hands exposed OR you can make them like a baby shirt and having bunting hands. Hehe how I love them. Want one? Click the title for a direct ordering link. Personally I would wear it with a mask and run around scaring little kids, because I'm sadistic like that.

::drools until she drowns in her puddle::

Today is a painful day. I found the shoes I want for my wedding.
They are Manolo Blahniks. I found them on ebay (click the title if you really wanna shatter my dreams and buy them for yourself. or if you want to buy them for me. For real, I would invite you to my wedding if you did.) Why is it a painful day to find THE shoes you want for your special prance down the aisle? They're ::swallows hard:: $320 before shipping. ::Cries tears:: Let me tell you something. I try my hardest not to be materialistic. I like things, and I want things, but if I don't have things I'm perfectly content. Stuff is not what our lives are all about. But I am a shoe snob. I'll wear thrift store clothes every day of my life, but my shoes need to be some sort of recongnizable brand. Vans, Converse, Steve Madden, Chinese Laundry are a few of my favorites. I don't know what it is. And mostly Jon is fine with this, what with his mild foot fetish and all. But if I had these shoes for my wedding day, I would HAPPILY wear a dress made of pillowcases sewn together. HAPPILY!!! Today I think a little piece of me is dying. Unless they get relisted at a lower price... in which case this dying piece of rotting flesh will spring back to it's youthful, nubile state.

I sometimes feel domestic.

And so the item of the day is really fantastic. I'm annoyed that I can't find it online with all the pasta attachments because hey, fresh pasta kicks boxed pastas butt. I know. I used to run a fresh pasta retail/wholesale shop. It was awesome. I'd eat pasta every day for lunch and because I was running around like a crazy person all the time I stayed WICKED skinny! Working there I was the skinniest I had been since before I was a teenager. Eek. At 13 I weighed 130, by 17/18 I was 110. Man I miss those days. Here I am just about 20 back up to 125. Jonathan says he likes me better than when I was skinny when we first met. Thanks love.... I prefer not being heavier thanks. Anyway, things that I want that can make pasta among other amazing things.

::Angels sing:: The Kitchenaid Mixer! Available just about everywhere for between $200 and $600 depending on the model you get! The one I registered for is the $300 model, but if I can find it at maybe Bed Bath and Beyond with the pasta attachments I'll snatch it off my Target Registry in a split second man.... Oh, if you want a direct link, click on the title of the post. ;) Not to my registry... just to the mixer at Target. Silly people, I'd never give you my registry info, you might be able to find my address and send me killing things in the mail :(

Let's celebrate!

Today I spoke to a woman from a country club not far away and they have the dates that we're looking at open and I made an appointment to go check it out next week! If we like it we're going to book it on the spot because, let's face it, trying to find a venue for 230 people 6 months out is hell. So we're celebrating! A toast! Not with champagne, I don't like champagne. Let's toast with MARTINIS! In these things!
The inside out martini glass! Super cool, very classy, interesting and pretty unique, even though you can get them for almost any sort of happiness drink. Available from Charles and Marie for $55 each (steep, but if you reeeally wanna splurge, totally worth it) here: http://tinyurl.com/49rstg You could be the coolest kid at the party with the inside out martini glass. Although I'm not so sure that rule applies to your shirt.

Tricksy things they is.

Some boys just don't appreciate the pain we put ourselves through for them. Between having sex for the first time, the Brazilian bikini waxes, and ::wince:: giving birth, we go through a lot for guys! I've been reminded by that today by my own penchant for below-the-belt waxing. (TMI, I know but it was a necessary bit of information!) And so the item of the day is for those of us who wax/shave/other those regions but sometimes feel like just having a little something! These embroidered undies are now sold, but when I had intended on posting them on Monday they were still available. If you think they are as bloody hilarious as I do and want a pair for yourself, you can possibly contact the seller and see if she's willing to make you up another pair! You can make your way to her contact page from here: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=13157900 Seriously though, how are undies with pubic hair embroidered on them not hysterical? SERIOUSLY?!

Yesterday blogspot hated me.

For real. Yesterday I couldn't post a picture without having to restart my computer. It was massively annoying. The item for today is something you cannot have. Because it is a one-of-a-kind. And it's mine. From the 1940's I believe. It's platinum. And diamonds!

I finally have my engagement ring to wear! And keep! Oh how I love it. Okay sure you can't see it so well in this picture but it was taken with a cell phone! Once I find my docking cable or whatever it's called I will take a nice close-up shot of it and let you see it. Yay!

I'm chilly

I did just get home from a pool party after all. And what's lovely when you're chilly? Tea! I just tried some Tension Tamer tea with a little honey and it was wonderful! What I wish I had though, was a great tea cup. Tea... tea cup... tea party... Alice in Wonderland!

The stacked cups! Yes!! It may be $14 but it is 3 cups for the price of 1. Get it for me! http://fredflare.com/customer/product.php?productid=3764&cat=254 Yes, I am demanding someone get me this wonderous tea cup! Pretty please? Make it my wedding present? I'll send you a thank you note with my picture on it and everything!

Today is going to be busy for me

So I'll drop my item for today already. This is actually something that I already own. I saw it once and couldn't stop obsessing over it. For WEEKS I obsessed over this necklace. I never bought it because, well, let's face it, not every person can afford a $175 necklace. (Thaaat's right! $175!) I sent the seller, who goes by Madame Fortuna, a private message to simply convey how much I adore her pieces. She was so touched by my message that she cut me a special deal. Don't tell her I told you that ;) Anywho:

When she did my special order, mine actually was done with oxidized silver instead of the bright gold. She was a pleasure to work with and so willing to help me out. Whenever I need a special piece of jewelry, I try to look to her first if I have a few extra pennies to drop. Without further ado, if you want to look at Madame Fortuna's work yourself, http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5242018

So I'm gonna nerd out tonight

As if I usually don't. Tonight is more homage to my dear Jonathan. FINALLY we can run around and tell everyone, Hey! We're getting married!!!! It's all official! WOOOO! So, short and sweet:

The "I heart my gamer" tee. Jinx has more way cooler tees, but I felt like nerding out since everything got official tonight. Woohoo $20 tees!!! http://www.jinx.com/women?&data=%26ps%3d20%26pn%3d1%26sort%3dselling%26tcid%3d1&ps=all

I have wedding on the brain!

It's not a wedding blog I swear! When I go on the Knot (you may as well just euthanize me now, it's not going to get better) and I see women posting their wedding blog everywhere, it makes me want to puke! No, I will NOT vote on what dresses your bridesmaids should wear! Did you ask them?! Does it look good on them? Does it look horrible on them and you're asking us so you can override their decision with, "Well everyone thinks you should wear THIS DRESS IN CHARTRUESE!" Do not force them to wear chartreuse, it's a horrendous color to put on people. The flesh that goes well with it is rare. Hm. Rant over. But I did by the way show my ONE and only bridesmaid, Diana my sister, a bunch of dresses, ask which ones she liked and we decided that she'll get one after she tries it on if it's flattering. The one she hated I said, "Okay, we'll not get that one!" I said blue or green, whichever shade looks better. Heather 1. Bridezillas 0. But yes. Really what I wanted to tell you all is that Jonathan's ring is going to be simple, inexpensive, and not titanium because I'm paranoid that if something happens he'll lose his finger because they can't cut it off. This is one he picked out:
By Spexton Jewelry (http://www.spexton.com/ViewProduct.asp?ModelNumber=RI1003) It's stainless steel, and there is also a hammered version of it that he's considering. As far as wedding bands go, $149 is an absolute STEAL. I absolutely love it. His other choices on Spexton are wonderful as well, they really have great work. Go to the site and check out their other jewelry as well, it's interesting and sleek and different. I would post my wedding band but I have yet to find a vintage platinum band that I like and that is in our price range.... I love poverty.

On bad days...

Hi. My name is Heather. I'm a shopaholic and I have not bought a pair of shoes in 17 days. But I am weakening. I'm stressed because I'm trying to write out a potential guest list and I want to keep it around 200 but knowing my mother it will skyrocket to 300. She'll say I can't complain because she'll pay for it but I'll tell her we want a SMALL wedding, so 200 is already a decent compromise! I'm playing the scene out in my head and it's making me panic! So I want them... Oh yes, I do. I want THESE!

I adore these. I want them in teal. The top picture is only to show you what they look like in better detail. The second pic is the color. It's wonderful isn't it? http://tinyurl.com/5jq7zm They're currently on sale for about $160. The teal is not available in my size, fortunately for my wallet, sadly for my addiction. If anyone locates the teal is a 6.5 (US) give me a holler? Anyone? Bueller?

So my day really wasn't that interesting.

I.... didn't pay attention to my World Lit class, I actually drew up wedding plans. It was great fun. I chose a dress for my sister to wear. If it's flattering when she tries it on anyway... And I also looked at some favors per my sister's request. Her name is Diana by the way. I highly enjoy the containers she showed me. They look like little vintage candy jars, the ones that sit at an angle with a funny little metal top. Way cute. But anyway. Containers! That's how I'll tie in todays item. Going to school, I always see tons of people drinking ridiculous amounts of coffee. They then throw away their coffee containers. Think green people! Think....

Not a paper cup! Available at MANY places, http://fredflare.com/customer/product.php?productid=3816&cat=366 this place included! $22 is pricier than other places. Just Google "not a paper cup" and it should come up. I try to do my part for the environment even tho I'm not like "Save the Earth and be green!" because really I think we're too far gone. But I do like this cup anyway. I like things that look like what they're not. ::evil smile::

Striking gold!

So my dearling fiance once worked with this guy named Ben Coleman. Have you watched "America's Toughest Jobs" yet? Yep, he's the carpenter with the dreads. Jonathan sent me an excited text message, "The show Ben's in is on tonight!" I decided to set the DVR and save it for him. My poor lovie does not have cable at his own apartment. I will tell you, in person, Ben does not seem so babyfaced. I was taken aback a wee bit. Maybe I just get distracted by those dreads. He's really such a sweet, nice guy in real life. Root for him to win! Anywho. This item of the day is in Ben's honor, who today was debuted as a prospector! He and his competition were in Alaska panning for gold!
So what you need is a gold panning kit. http://www.goldfeverprospecting.com/gopakitdeset.html It's about $50 but come on, it's deluxe! Now, I didn't watch the whole episode, because I'm still feeling lousy and have every intention of sleeping once I'm done updating for you fine people. But when I left Ben wasn't doing so well with finding gold. Let's hope he does better and comes up with a fabulous nugget. :)

So sorry I'm late!

I missed you all yesterday. So sorry. I was at my lovie's house being fed French toast made with cinnamon raisin bread and strawberries. It was delicious. How I adore Jonathan when he makes me breakfast. Or lunch. Or dinner. He's a fantastic chef, he should have gone to culinary school. But with that delicious breakfast I drank orange juice with some pulp because his other offer was coffee, even though he knows I dislike coffee greatly. Unless it's foamy espresso dunked into a hot chocolate! Sadly though espresso machines are madly expensive and I had to settle for OJ. So I searched and I searched and here I bring you:

Handspresso! It's $155 (okay, still steep but it's a PORTABLE ESPRESSO MACHINE!) You can get it here: http://tinyurl.com/6zl4wg (I apologize that it's a tinyurl, but seriously, it was like seven lines long...) I think I would love to have one of these to take with me on vacation. That way I can have a nice foamy mocha when I'm unhappily stuck in the woods of New Hampshire on the yearly family vacation that we have to take unless we all want my mother to go into momzilla mode and kill us all and then feed us to the wild animals who in turn get some weird disease from eating humans and they proceed to bite other animals and then they bite people and they spread the disease and then next thing you know we're all gonna die or be some weird mutant like in "I Am Legend"!!!! Man, I hated that movie.

I have a secret.

I do, and it's a lovely secret. For quite some time I've referred to my boyfriend as my fiance because we did indeed decide between ourselves that we are going to get married. Yesterday he told me a secret. I'm not supposed to tell yet. He's got to do something "official" before I can tell you what the secret is. But I won't need this item of the day in about 3 weeks time:

The 2-carat cup ladies and gentlemen! http://www.perfectwedding.com/fm-fd-2ccp.html Available in gold or platinum depending on where you purchase it! For about $15, it's a coffee mug and instead of a handle, it has a gargantuan engagement ring attached to it. Yup. In about 3 weeks I don't need the cup anymore... But I can't tell you what my secret is yet!

Heather For The Win

My world literature professor is very strict. Her tardiness and absentee policy is absurd. You cannot be tardy because if you come into class after she takes attendance she will mark you absent and it will not be changed. Keep in mind if you are absent 4 times you will be dropped from the class. Psycho much? Today I was eight minutes late. I came in after she had called the last name on the attendance list. She tells me, "You're going to be marked absent but you should really stay anyway." I said, "I don't know why I should stay if I'm marked absent because I do have other work I can get done." She says, "Prove to me you're worth keeping in the class and I'll mark you present." Today's topic? The Hebrew Scriptures! I am a Bible student. So we go through class and I participate, make good points, mention things that are in the Bible that were not in our assigned reading. At the end of class she begrudgingly marked me present saying she didn't expect such studiousness from a tardy person but clearly I did the reading. I said, "Actually I didn't read your assignment. I'm just very familiar with the Bible." Aaaaand win. My religion has NO connection at all with crosses or crucifixes, but I thought this was still an awesome item for today:

More from Perpetual Kid (http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=1865) for $24 is the Good Book Flask! Oh how blasphemous. I will reiterate the fact that my religion does NOT USE CROSSES IN THEIR WORSHIP. Just to get that clear. Jesus died on a stake, not a cross. Aside from the fact that God forbade the use of idols in worship. But yah. Today seemed like a good day to be hiding hard liquor in the Good Book. Heather:1 College: 0

I've gotten lost and I can't get back!!

Anyone who knows me is well aware that one thing I did not inherit from my father is a sense of direction. You could also be told by most friends is that I have a fondness for things from the decade of my birth. By the way, I was born in 1989. So to combine the two, (one being a lack of mental compass and two being fantastic things from the 80's) I present to you:

The Knight Rider GPS system from Mio available for pre-order here: http://www.knightridergps.com/ How awesome would it be to have your very own K.I.T.T.?! "Hello Michael. Where would you like to go today?" "K.IT.T., today we're going to the coolest place in the world. My place."

First day of school!

Today began my second semester of college at good old CCRI. Have I told you what I'm going to school for? Currently I'm a liberal arts major, but eventually I'm hoping to earn my masters in library science. Yes! I am going to grow up to be a librarian! So to help me practice, I would love to own one of these:

Attainable for $19.99 here: http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=2045 This way I can practice by lending out my own personal library like a real grown up librarian!

Last day of freedom.

Classes begin again tomorrow thus ending my three days of absolute freedom. Today I decided I needed to make myself useful and made myself some brownies! They were wonderful. But as I perused the intarwebz with my StumbleUpon button (you should try it! It's fantastic!) I found this little beauty:

I am probably one of the nerdiest people you've ever had some semblance of contact with. This pie plate with Pi in it! The rim has the number pi up to the first few dozen decimal points... I would pay $25 for this irony in ceramic in a heartbeat if I wasn't so broke. Does anyone want to buy it for me? PayPal me the money? http://www.thewirelesscatalog.com/wireless/Collectibles_1DA/View-All-Collectibles_1DB/Item_The-Pi-Dish_VC4603_ps_cti-1DB.html Anyone? Bueller? No, I'm kidding of course, I don't presume I'm so interesting that people will provide me with useless things like Pi plates and such. Although really, help a girl out. I now work 4 hours a week and I'm a full time student. PayPal? Bueller?